A Pain Worse Than Any Other
by Percyjacksonfan3
Summary: Nico's POV of the scene where he and Jason go to Cupid's palace and he reveals his 'big secret'. Emotional and very sad. Spoilers for HOH so if you haven't read that then you really shouldn't read this. If you have read it then you know how it went. This is just Nico's side. It's good, I promise!


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

oooOOOooo

Love is the cruelest emotion out there. It does not forgive, and has the power to inflict an unimagineable amount of pain on a single person. Love is ever-changing, always showing itself in different ways and it can reach even the darkest and most selfish of people. Without love a person cannot survive, it is a fact as true as any other. We all feel it at least once in our long, suffering lives and sometimes- just sometimes- love makes that life worth living- Unkown

oooOOOooo

Nico didn't like Salona.

The city was the capitol of Dalmatia and at once it must have been huge. Magnificent and imposing. Now, after years of neglect and abondonement, it was a . Old, crumbling bath houses, temples, a half buried ampitheatre, empty statue pedestals and rows of columns that led off to nowhere.

It was a ruin.

Some of it looked excavated, for sure, but most of it... left behind by it's people. Left for years. Left alone.

Nico looked around himself and couldn't help the anxiousness that made him feel sick flutter in his stomach. Was this what happened when you were left alone? You became a ruin? A shadow of your former self?

His momentary confidence boost from before, when Jason encouraged him to go and see Cupid, had vanished. Was it worth coming here just for a scepter? Why was he doing this? Why couldn't it be Jason?

He didn't want to do this anymore.

"Welcome to Salona!" Favonius said happily, unaware of Nico's thoughts. "Capital of Dalmatia, birthplace of Diocletian! But before that, long before that, it was the home of Cupid."

Cupid.

The name and reminder of why that had come made Nico feel very weak and his knees shook. The echo of it all around him made him squeeze his eyes shut, trying to get under control. He breathed deeply, glad to see that Jason hadn't noticed. He was too busy looking around. A small part of Nico wondered what the others would think about here. Hazel, or Frank. And maybe- maybe if they were out of Tartarus, Annabeth or Percy.

Nico's stomach clenched. He shouldn't be thinking of... them, here. This was Cupid's domain. Nico had been in front of the god before, he- he knew what it was like. He had no wish to repeat his previous experiences.

"Oh he's not like that," said Favonius.

Nico looked up just in time to see Jason flinch. "You can read my mind?" The son of Jupiter asked the god.

Nico held back a snort. Of course he could, he was a god. Ruthless and uncaring of any invasion of privacy. What more did Jason expect?

"I don't need to," Favonius tossed his bronze hoop in the air, "everyone has the wrong impression of Cupid." He paused and Nico felt the gods eyes turn to him. "Until they meet him."

The weak feeling from before was back and Nico had to brace himself against a column. He could feel his legs trembling, his face felt clammy and Nico was suddenly very sure that he didn't want to do this. He was nervous and anxious.

But it was more than that.

He was _scared_.

Nico hated fear. Since he had lost Bianca and everything had happened to him... since getting back from Tartarus. Nico knew that fear wouldn't help anything. There wasn't much that scared him anymore. But Tartarus had been absolute hell and he had gotten captured and Nico had been absolutely terrified. Then he had watched Annabeth and Percy fall down into Tartarus and Nico had felt that all consuming paralyzing fear again. Trepidation mixed with worry, anxiety, loss and a pain so sharp it was as piercing as a scorpion sting made Nico petrified.

"Hey man," Jason stepped towards him, a look of concern on his face but Nico waved him off, unable to speak.

Now was not the time to be weak, he scolded himself. Now was not the time to break down.

At his feet the grass turned brown and withered. It was a dead patch, forming a perfect circle around him, and it was growing outwards. Not even Nico could come up with an excuse to explain that.

When he got emotional his automatic defense was offense. His powers came into play, without Nico even meaning them to, and then he was killing things left and right. It was all he was good at, he reflected bitterly. Destroying things.

"Ah," Favonius nodded and Nico saw the pity in his expression. "I don't blame you for being nervous, Nico di Angelo. Do you know I ended up serving Cupid?"

Of course he did, Nico thought bitterly. It was one of the only myths with- with...

"I don't serve anyone," Nico muttered, barely able to speak even that loud. "Especially not Cupid," he added to prove his point.

He was Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, Ghost King. He didn't serve _anybody_ but himself.

But deep down he knew that was a lie. His father, Hazel, Thalia, even Camp Half-Blood... Nico served many and more things. The things he loved. Like his family, the few friends he had, the only place he had ever really considered a home,... Percy.

Quickly his walls came back up, blocking out the thought. No, he berated himself. _No_.

Favonius continued, ignoring Nico. "I fell in love with a mortal named Hyacinthus. He was _quite_ extraordinary."

Nico flinched.

"He.." Jason asked, confused. After a second his expression cleared and Nico caught the flash of something in his eyes. "Oh..." The son of Jupiter trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Of course, Nico thought bitterly to himself. As if the idea of a guy liking another guy was so foreign and disgusting to him.

"Yes, Jason Grace. I fell in love with a dude. Does that shock you?" Favonius asked with a raised eyebrow and Nico wondered to himself how he could be so casual about the whole thing. Like it wasn't even that big of a deal.

Because it was, Nico told himself. It was a huge deal. Unnatural and monstrous.

At least that's what he told himself.

Jason didn't say anything and something- some sort of hope or wish- in Nico died at the action. Eventually after the silence stretched into a very awkward one with Favonius obviously waiting for an answer, Jason spoke. "I guess not. So... Cupid struck you with his arrow, and you fell in love."

_You see, son of Hades?_ The god's voice sounded in Nico's mind and he started. _We are just like everyone else._

Nico resisted the urge to growl. _I am_ nothing_ like you_, he thought back, but he wasn't sure if the god heard him.

Out loud Favonius snorted. "You make it sound so simple. Alas, love is never simple." Favonius looked over at Nico for a moment at the words before looking back at Jason. "You see, Apollo also liked Hyacinthus. He claimed they were just friends. I don't know-" Of course you do, Nico thought. Everyone does. But Apollo couldn't admit to everyone that he was in love with a guy now, could he? "-but one day I came across them together, playing a game of quoits-"

"Quoits?" Jason asked, confused.

"A game with those hoops," Nico explained, trying to make his voice less brittle. He had searched this myth hundreds of times. He knew everything about it. "Like horseshoes."

"Sort of," Favonius said. "At any rate, I was jealous. Instead of confronting them and finding out the truth, I shifted the wind and sent the heavy metal ring right at Hyacinthus's head and...well." The god stopped and Nico saw a burning regret flicker in his eyes before he closed his eyes and sighed. "As Hyacinthus died, Apolloturned him into a flower, the hyacinth. I'm sure Apollo would've taken horrible vengeance on me, but Cupid offered me his protection. I'd done a terrible thing, but I'd been driven mad by love, so he spared me, on the condition that I work for him forever."

_Cupid_.

The name echoed around them all and Nico tried to shut his ears, block it from his mind. Suddenly he was overcome by a gripping fear and he really just wanted to tell Jason to leave, they would get the spear some other way or not at all.

"That would be my cue," the god spoke after a second. "Think long and hard about how you proceed, Nico d Angelo. You cannot lie to Cupid. If you let your anger rule you... well, your fate will be even sadder than mine."

The words shook Nico and when he met the god's eyes all he saw there was sincerety. He was telling the truth. That shook him even more and Nico couldn't look away, not even to see how Jason had reacted to the gods words.

Then the god disappeared, the ground shook, and Nico forgot all about his emotional problems. He and Jason stood back to back and drew their swords.

_So._

The voice resonated around the room and although no one else had appeared, Nico felt the presence of another person, someone who hadn't been there with them a moment ago. Or maybe he had and only now Nico became aware of him.

Cupid.

_You come to claim the scepter._

"Cupid," Jason called from behind Nico and the son of Hades couldn't help but be comforted by the presence of someone who was some sort of friend to him. "Where are you?"

A laugh sounded, and it sounded so mocking that Nico clenched his teeth. This, right here, was why he hated Cupid. Whenever Nico had come to see him in the past the god had been sincere and listened to him- but only in private. In front of others, Cupid was the biggest fraud of all.

_Where you least expect me, as Love always is,_ was the gods answer.

Nico felt Jason move and turned around in time to see him being thrown across the street and topple down a set of steps. He sprawled on the floor of an excavated Roman basement.

_I would think you'd know better, Jason Grace,_ Cupid answered and his voice was all around them, drilling itself into their minds. _You've found true love after all, or do you still doubt yourself?_

Nico scrambled down the steps to get nearer to the praetor. "You okay?" He asked Jason, but mostly he was just trying to distract himself from Eros's words. Of course Jason had found true love, you could see it in the way Piper spoke about him. In the way she was always his first concern.

Nico wondered what Cupid would say to Percy. Wondered if he would talk about Percy finding the truest love of all with Annabeth, like everybody else did. Wondered if Cupid would say anything about him.

He felt like a knife was stabbing him from the inside at the mere thought of it.

Jason looked up at him and Nico was struck by just how alike his eyes were to Thalia's. A pang of remembrance went through him and he couldn't help but miss Thalia all the more. She had been a good friend, understanding some of his feelings, what with his dad and the War, being an outcast.

But this wasn't Thalia. This was Jason, her perfect brother that was almost her polar opposite. He was the golden boy, everyone's favourite. There was nothing monstrous about him, Nico thought. Nothing that Jason was ashamed of. He had everything and for a demigod, he was pretty darn lucky. Nico stared down at Jason, his worry fading when he saw the son of Jupiter was okay. He accepted Nico's outstretched hand and Nico hauled the boy up. "Yeah, just sucker punched."

_Oh, did you expect me to play fair?_ Cupid asked cruelly before laughing. _I am the god of love. I am never fair._

I am never fair.

The words were too true and Nico struggled to force back the prick of tears at his eyes. If he went down that road in his thoughts... there was too much. If Cupid had been honest about anything, it was that.

Love was never fair.

Nico was so distracted by his thoughts that he missed the air ripple that signified an arrow materializing. An arrow, Nico saw numbly, that was heading straight towards him.

Luckily Jason wasn't so restrained and intercepted the weapon with his sword, deflecting it away. The move reminded Nico of something Percy would do, Hades, Nico had seen the son of Poseidon do it multiple times. In wars, in capture the flag, during a fight with Thalia...

Jason headed up the steps and Nico followed, still not fully aware of everything around him. Jason had to pull him over to the side as another gust of wind toppled a column that would have squashed him like a pancake.

Cupid was trying to kill him. Nico wasn't sure why, but the thought depressed him like no other.

"Is this guy Love or Death?" Jason growled by his ear and Nico tried to hold back a bitter laugh.

_Ask your friends,_ the god said before he could reply. _Frank, Hazel and Percy met my counterpart, Thanatos. We are not so different. Except Death is sometimes kinder._

Another truth, Nico realized sadly. Death took away pain, at least for a bit. Love only made it worse.

But the mention of Percy was enough to get him thinking straight again. Percy needed Nico to bring the rest of the Seven to the House of Hades, he needed Nico to do everything in his power to make sure they all survived and beat Gaea. And that meant getting this stupid scepter.

"We just want the scepeter!" He shouted out, hoping the god would listen to him. "We're trying ot stop Gaea, are you on the gods' side or not?"

It was the wrong thing to say, Nico realized after as a white hot arrow hit the ground between his feet. He stumbled back as it burst into flame and it was like he felt the heat searing inside his very being. Love took no sides, why should Eros- the very epitome of the crushing emotion- be any different?

_Love is on every side, and no one's side. Don't ask what Love can do for you._ Cupid's voice echoed around the room but then the god spoke directly into Nico's thoughts. _You should know that better than most, son of Hades. I even managed to touch your closed off soul._

Nico bit back a scream and he was lucky Jason spoke because he wasn't able to even think clearly in that moment.

"Great," Jason said. "Now he's spouting greeting card messages."

If only that was all it was, Nico thought. Was Jason really so naive about the powers of Love? He was dating a daughter of Aphrodite, for gods sakes.

Nico felt the movement behind them and spun around to see Jason doing the same and slicing his sword through the air as he went. Nico heard a grunt and saw Jason's blade make contact with something, but when the son of Jupiter swung again there was nothing there.

But there was golden ichor on the paving stones. Something Nico took as symbolic.

Of course they wouldn't be able to escape from here without shedding some blood.

_Very good, Jason. At least you can sense my presence. Even a glancing hit at true love is more than most heroes manage._

Percy would be able to defeat him, Nico was sure of it. Percy had defeated Ares, the freaking god of war before. Percy could beat Cupid. But that fact caused him pain because he knew that Cupid had meant much more than just a strike with a sword.

"So now can I get the scepter?" Jason asked.

If only it could be that easy.

The god laughed._ Unfortunately, you could not wield it. Only a child of the Underworld can summon the dead legion. And only an officer of Rome can lead them._

"But..." Jason started but then trailed off. Nico hardly spent a moment wondering what the god had meant- last he checked, Jason was a praetor of Rome. Instead Nico's thoughts caught on the hidden meaning behind Cupid's words.

He would be the one who had to get the scepter.

"Just leave that to us," Jason continued. "Nico can summon-"

The third arrow came so fast Nico didn't have time to do anything but freeze up as it sunk into his sword arm.

An unimaginable, gutting pain consumed him and Nico felt himself gasp. He wasn't even fulled conscious, he realized, the pain was blocking everything out and he just wanted it to stop.

Was this what heartbreak was? A pain so bad that you would rather die?

Images flashed through his brain, of him and Bianca, the love and happiness they had had. Then they changed. It wasn't Bianca's face in front of him, it was Percy's and Nico wanted to cry from the relief of seeing him again. At knowing that he was okay, out of Tartarus. He wanted Percy to smile at him, his eyes unafraid to look at the dreadful son of Hades everyone else thought he was.

But then the arrow dissolved and Nico felt himself stumble. The world came back into focus and Nico realized that Percy wasn't there and niether was Bianca. It was just Jason. Jason and Cupid.

Rage filled him, such as he had only felt once before, a helplessness that Nico had vowed to never feel again in his entire life. This rage had caused him to crack the floor of the dining pavilion at Camp, had caused Percy to fear him. When he had been told Bianca was dead- that was the only other time Nico had ever felt a feeling close to this one.

"Enough games!" Nico shouted. "Show yourself!"

_Games, son of Hades?_ Cupid's voice spoke in his mind once more. _Why, you're almost as good at them as I am. _He continued on out loud._ It is a costly thing, looking on the true face of Love._

Another column fell, this time aimed at Jason, but the son of Jupiter moved away in time.

_My wife Psyche learned that lesson,_ Cupid went on and for a moment there was such regret and sadness in Cupid's voice that Nico felt bad for him. Until he remembered everything this guy was. _She was brought here eons ago, when this was the site of my palace. We met only in the dark. She was warned never to look upon me, and yet she could not stand the mystery. She feared I was a monster._

Cupid spoke the last sentence with so much grief Nico closed his eyes and took a breath. Love was a monster, there was no doubt about it. Not in Nico's mind. It caused more heart-wrenching pain than it was worth and there was nothing else that could touch each and every other soul in existence so personally.

Even Nico's own father had succumbed to it.

_One night, she lit a candle, and beheld my face as I slept._

"Were you that ugly?" Jason shouted out and Nico wanted to snap at him. Didn't he understand it wasn't just a literal story? The meaning behind the words... even Love's lover suspected it was a monster.

The god laughed but it was bitter, twisted and tired, as if he was no longer in the mood to play Jason's games._ I was too handsome, I'm afraid. A mortal cannot gaze upon the true appearance of a god without suddering consequences. My mother, Aphrodite, cursed Psyche for her distrust. My poor lover was tormented, forced into exile, given horrible tasks to prove her worth. She was even sent to the Underworld on a quest to show her dedication. She earned her way back to my side, but she suffered greatly._

Aphrodite, Nico reflected, was worse than her own son. Or maybe they were equals.

Suddenly Jason thrust out his sword and thunder boomed across the valley, lighting blasted a crater where the voice had been speaking.

Nico was shocked out of his reverie. He had been so focused on listening to the story that he had forgotten why they had come here. Too focused on his own personal pain, his own struggle with Love.

There was silence and Nico was just turning around to make sure Cupid was no where else, when Jason was slammed into the ground by an invisible force, his sword skittering out of his hand and away across the stone.

Nico made no move to go and pick it up, a crushing sense of realization coming over him.

Cupid was getting impatient. He was going to leave soon and he was getting so fed up he was hurting Jason- all because Nico couldn't admit his own feelings.

_A good try,_ the god said, and he definitely sounded distant._ But Love cannot be pinned down so easily._

Next to Jason a wall collapsed and Nico saw him barely move in time to avoid being hit.

"Stop it!" He yelled . "It's me you want, leave him alone!"

Nico saw Jason look at him, confused, but he ignored the other demigod. He stared straight at where he thougt Cupid was and a sort of strength filled him.

_Poor Nico di Angelo,_ the god's voice came out cruel and mocking, obviously meant to hurt. And hurt it did because Nico knew exactly what he would have to do next. The god continued, poisoned words shredding the walls Nico had built around himself for years. The disappointment in Cupid's voice was evident and Nico knew what he wanted from him._ Do you know what you want, much less what I want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. It was the only way to atone for her lack of faith. And you- what have you risked in my name?_

The words were cruel and pointed, Nico couldn't help but think back to what Favonius said before. _The one you care for most... plunged into Tartarus. And still you will not allow the truth?_

"I've been to Tartarus and back," Nico snarled at Cupid. "You don't scare me."

It was the biggest lie he had ever told.

_I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest._

Jason got up but Nico barely noticed. He felt his anger flare, saw the ground around him shift and roil. Nature died, stones cracked and Nico called his skeletons up, up out of the earth.

"Give us Diocletian's scepeter," Nico said, bordering on pleading and desperate. "We don't have time for games."

He was struck inro a granite pedestal and the pain was nothing compared to what he had felt earlier, when the arrow filled him. What he felt when he was an outcast from the other demigods, when Bianca had left him to go and join the Hunters of Artemis.

The pain he felt when he saw Percy and Annabeth together.

_Games?_ Cupid asked and now he really was mad, Nico could tell. Tired of Nico skirting around the main issue, Nico could sense it._ Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work- a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you- especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards._ He continued in Nico's head, softer but pitying and it was worse than any shout._ Just look at your loved one, Nico di Angelo, and his girlfriend. See how much they work through, what they overcome? See how bountiful their love is?_

Nic staggered back and felt the blood drain from his face. Suddenly the world around him was shaking and he couldn't stop it.

"Nico," Jason called out. "What does this guy _want_ from you?"

_Tell him, Nico di Angelo,_ Cupid said. _Tell him you are a coward, afraid of yourself and your feelings. Tell him the real reason you ran from Camp Half-Blood, and why you are always alone._

Nico let loose a scream from his very core, guttural. It didn't sound like something of a man, it sounded like an animal that was being goaded with blades so piercing they could cut you with their tip. The ground at his feet completely split and Nico called up more skeletons than he bothered to count. They were all dressed differently, all cracked or broken in some way, but they were the dead and they were all that Nico knew how to control.

He sent them forwards, towards the god of Love, and watched with the sickest sort of satisfaction as they moved towards the god.

_Will you hide behind the dead as you always do?_ Cupid said softly, but tauntingly.

An emotionally onslaught such as Nico had never known before overcame him and suddenly he was remembering each and ever moment he had ever had with Percy Jackson. When they had met and Percy had saved him and his sister, just like a real hero should. Every touch, every look, Nico remembered it all. When he had betrayed Percy and had felt the guiltiest he had ever felt in his life. Percy's face when he had met his eyes as Nico came to the rescue during the War, riding on Mrs. O'Leary's back. When Percy had told him Bianca had died Nico had wanted so badly to hurt him, to make him feel as betrayed and alone as he did in that moment. But Nico could never hurt Percy, not really. And when the skeletons had appeared Nico had made sure he kept them away from the son of Poseidon- right before he had run away for the first time.

The shame, anger, hatred, self-loathing, disgust and monstrous repulsion Nico felt towards himself was too much. He sent more skeletons, wanting to crush the god in front of him. So much so that he would never be able to taunt and hurt him again.

_Interesting!_ Cupid cried as the skeletons gripped him, as he struggled to overcome them. _Do you have the strength after all?_

"I left Camp Half-Blood because of love," Nico answered the previous question. "Annabeth... she-"

_Still hiding!_ Cupid said in a sing song voice, as if this was some sort of game. He smashed another skeleton and Nico sent more forth, trying to overpower him. _You do not have the strength._

"Nico," Jason spoke and suddenly Nico remembered he was there. For a moment he had completely forgotten about Jason. He closed his eyes against the bitter shame welling up in himself. So now Jason, everyone's perfect golden boy, knew just how imperfect Nico really was. "It's okay," Jason continued and for a second Nico was stunned. "I get it."

Pain and misery filled him and he finally glanced over, just long enough to speak. He saw Jason's earnest eyes and for a second he believed that maybe- maybe... "No, you don't," he said. "There's no way you can understand."

Did Jason hate himself every second of every day? Spend every moment wishing he was **_everything_**that he wasn't? Did Jason disgust himself? Nico could hardly even look at Percy anymore, nevermind talk to him or be near him. Was Jason _gay_? Did he like people from his own gender more than girl's? Did he ever feel that ever present need to just- just...

Just tell someone that he was in love with Percy Jackson, the guy who was in the happiest _straight_ relationship on the planet?

_And so you run away again,_ Cupid's voice broke Nico's thoughts and he flinched. _From your friends, from yourself._

"I don't have friends!" Nico yelled out, feeling isolated. "I left Camp Half-Blood because I don't belong! I'll never belong!"

I just want to belong, Nico thought weakly.

The skeletons had pinned the god down now but Nico took no pleasure in it. Cupid had stopped struggling long ago and Nico knew he had won no real victory.

Cupid laughed so viciously at Nico's words that he closed his eyes at the pain, drawing in a shaky breath.

"Leave him alone, Cupid," Jason said and his voice was a croak. Nico was apalled that he had to come to his defense. Why couldn't he just say something, stop the god from hurting people? "This isn't..."

He trailed off and Nico wondered what he was going to say. Isn't normal? Isn't real? He knew it wasn't normal but it sure as Hades felt real to him.

He had never felt anything so strongly in all his life.

"I- I wasn't in love with Annabeth," he finally croaked out, his voice fractured and weak. He spoke looking at Cupid but Jason was the one who answered.

"You were jealous of her," Jason said, and every word was like a sucker punch to Nico's gut. "That's why you didn't want to be around her. Especially why you didn't want to be around... him. It makes total sense."

Nico closed his eyes and slouched, not having the strength to deny or fight anything anymore. This was too much. Besides, Jason already knew. Already saw how strange he was.

Nico's power receded and the darkness left the air around them while the Roman soldiers collapsed and their bones lay limply on the ground.

"I hated myself," Nico said hoarsely. "I hated Percy Jackson."

_Lie, lie, lie._

Hate and love were easily confused. They were just two sides of the same coin.

Suddenly Cupid made himself visible but Nico wasn't surprised at his appearance. He was too numb and dead inside to feel anything but that constant throb of his heart breaking. The dark hair, lean and muscular build, white wings... Nico had seen it all before. Once, before. When he had admitted how he felt to the god years ago and he had faced Love head on.

He was looking at Nico and Nico looked straight back, unwavering. He would not back down, not now. Not when he had already gone through so much to get the stupid scepter.

"I had a crush on Percy," Nico spat out, trying to get the words out as quick as possible. "That's the truth, that's the big secret." Nico glared and wished with everything that the god would just leave. "Happy now?" He asked bitterly, defeated.

Nico saw Cupid's face change into something much sadder and grieved. "Oh I wouldn't say Love always makes you happy." His voice was quiet, almost miserable. "Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad. But at least you've faced it now. That's the only way to conquer me."

He was gone before Nico could blink.

With a start Nico realized once again that Jason was there. He was about to turn, say something- anything- but then he noticed an ivory staff where Cupid had been only a second ago. Nico bent to pick it up and then looked at Jason, warily, trying to prepare himself for laughter, or mockery. A look of disgust or revulsion.

"If the others found out-" he started but Jason didn't let him finish.

"If the others found out," he said slowly, honestly. "You'd have that many more people to back you up, and to unleash the fury of the gods on anybody who gives you trouble."

Nico scowled. He was lying, of course. Nico was pretty sure nobody would ever stand by him or associate with him if they found out his secret, nevermind defend him.

"But it's your call," Jason continued after a second. "Your decision to share or not. I can only tell you-"

"I don't feel that way anymore," Nico interrupted, dreading whatever Jason had been about to say. He didn't want to mention Percy but he figured if he could somehow convince Jason he had- that he had stopped caring then it wouldn't be a big issue. "I mean... I gave up on Percy. I was young and impressionable, and I-I don't..."

He tried to sound convincing but then his voice cracked and he felt the stupid sting of tears and he looked away, unable to face the guy in front of him.

They were quiet and Nico felt his throat work furiously as he swallowed, pushing back the tears once again.

"Nico," Jason said gently and he found himself looking up automatically, without thought, meeting the piercing blue eyes before looking down again. They were honest, those eyes. "I've seen a lot of brave things. But what you just did? That was maybe the bravest."

Nico met his gaze uncertainly and shifted, unsure how he felt about that. "We should get back to the ship," he said, hoping to forget about what he had just done and move on.

But he knew that would be impossible. There was no going back from this. Not anymore.

No matter how much he may want to.

oooOOOooo

_"And in the dark_  
_I can hear your heartbeat_  
_I tried to find the sound_  
_but then it stopped_  
_and I was in the darkness_  
_so the darkness I became"_  
- Florence and the Machine, Cosmic Love

oooOOOooo

**Hope you all liked it! Leave me a review if you have a comment!**

**Love you all!**

**Percyjacksonfan3**


End file.
